Thursday, August 24, 2006
i've decided that i need to slow down.
really.
i've always thought the way i live my life is normal - u know, maximise the time each day by packing each appointment back to back. so i go to great extents to ensure that i have just enough time to do as much as i can. take today for example: went to school, looked for my lecturer, met qing for lunch before she flies off on friday, rushed off for tuition after, met kel real quick to buy stuff, met angela to get a lift to church, then finally made it to church by 8pm for H&D.
so that's normally how my schedule is on a day to day basis. but things slightly messed up today which kinda derailed me for a bit. was something minor really but it made me realize how God is really good coz i almost always get away with help of some kind. (thanks farand, i owe u!)
and so in the brief brief brief moments i was with kel running around cold storage, i was sms-ing, trying to figure out how to get myself out of my mess and get to church on time, make sure we got all we needed and in the midst of all of that, i realized i really wasn't there in the moment. i was just kinda like functioning on autopilot mode. and so in the car, kel made a good point about how i'm too busy and i need to slow down and really be taking time off to be alone and be still to pray about things the next few months.
heh well actually i'd planned to do that during the hols but that has come and gone and it's not done. i haven't reprioritized and slowed down. and i guess i never really got down to doing it coz there was no real impetus to do so. but i guess it's really time to do so. up to this point in my life, it has seemed pretty ok (or at least not bad?) to be exhausted at the end of the day after i've functioned at maximum capacity to be physically, emotionally and spiritually in tune at each moment of the day. but i'm beginning to realize that at some point, and even now, it's not just about me. and things have got to change. but i really don't know how or what. sigh.
