Wednesday, October 11, 2006
it's got me!got bitten by the flu bug quite unexpectedly. started feeling flu-y 2 nights ago but i thot it'd blow away with the haze but it didn't..heh got worse yday as the sniffles started so i determined tt i'd sleep early. so sleep early i did and i even overslept today! but nope..sleep didn't do the trick. neither did vit c. haha so was forced to come home after class to sleep off the heavy-headedness which made me feel like a walking bu(4) dao(3) wong(1). haha anyway, after my long afternon nap, i'm feeling slightly better. :) hope the sniffles and fever and all stay away! heh nonetheless, am thankful for the period of forced rest. know i wldn't have gotten it otherwise. so yup..just praying it doesn't drag out coz my 40% paper is due in less than a week and as always, there are a ton of things to do in btw now and then...but, i know He's got it under control so i don't have to sweat the small stuff :) gotta keep reminding myself of that otherwise i'd stress myself to bits which wldn't do me the least good.anyway, was challenged by a verse i read today tt reminded me tt choosing to live by an absolute standard isn't meant to be imposing and overbearing. rather, it's an easy choice to make when put in proper perspective. i'm a fighter and i'm not easily convinced or swayed and i'm stubborn and i almost always have a way to reason and bargain with God or my conscience when i wanna go on doing what i do; but at the end of the day, i'm silenced and convicted by Jesus' one-liner, "I always do those things that are pleasing to Him." so tt leaves no more room to entertain things that crowd out what truly matters, no more time to waste with things that have no eternal value, no point pursuing things that won't declare His glory and Lordship in my life, no value in seeking after things that don't draw me close to Him, and no way i can go on living by a substandard.so i wanna live by His standards, by His truth, by His benchmark, and by His absolutes. but realized too that in order to not be a pharisee, living by His absolutes needs to be accompanied by His standards of love, compassion, patience, and gentleness. not an easy balance to straddle but i'm learning. it's easy to do neither since it's so hard to be passionate for Him w/o being a prick or holy moly, or to be full of love and all patient w/o being taken for granted, but in Him it is possible! i'm glad that God speaks and convicts when we make room and time for Him to. takes discipline to safeguard tt time and especially so to make up for it when it accidentally gets trumped (like when i overslept this morning!), but it's definitely worth it. :) the refining and rebuking process is definitely more pleasant and less painful than the process of disciplining and chastening.
