so i've made it through two mid terms. today's was definitely worse than yday's and i know i'm gonna do horribly for it but oh well. just glad it's done and out of the way. was lamenting to dhoby last night that over the course of my uni life, i've become really last minute with studying and assignments. i'm not sure if last minute's really it though coz there's always other work to do and it's not like i've not been doing anything anyway. anyhow, as compared to the boy who does all his assignments and studies way in advance no matter how much he has on his plate, i definitely do not seem to be juggling my work well. haha but then again, i figured that i'll never have to fret about being last minute studying for mid terms anymore coz today's my last ever since i'm graduating this sem. haha can't decide if that's really a good or bad thing.

anyway, i'm glad both tests are out of the way. for the next 2 weeks or so, it'll be nothing but thesis since i've not written a single word and everyone subtly tells me i'm screwed. haha but hey! hopefully tmr's interview is the last and then i can really get down to writing. haha as pessimistic as this sounds, i'm already dreading getting stuck as i write and the endless hours i'm gonna be spending mulling over stuff.

anyway, before that painful process offically begins, lav and i headed down to town after our test today. i honestly can't remember the last time i was there. or the last time i watched a movie. and we did both tonight so that was really good. hadn't realized how long we hadn't been out, watched a show, talked about random stuff and all...oh! and we finally got down to talking about our grad trip! so london, belgium, paris etc....here we come! :) after we're done with our thesis and the rest the sem that is. haha but the end's in sight!!! kind of...for now, i'll just have to make do with reading Lonely Planet's Europe on a Shoestring Budget and the Contiki Europe guide. but those have gotten me sufficiently psyched up alreadY! :)

i think there's a point i hit every semester when i'm reminded how feeble my own efforts are and how much i need Him and i am reminded that i'm dependent on Him alone.

i often wish i hit this point earlier so i wouldn't be like a wilfull chid trying to fix her fix her own mess or get things in order on her own when she obviously can't do it on her own. anyway, so here's AY2006/07 Sem 2's declaration of dependence. it comes amidst tension headaches, lack of sleep, much stress, and a whole ton of work undone. yet You alone sustain me, deliver me, and fill my heart with joy unexplainable.

ok i think this post is not gonna do justice to how much i've been thinking about this all week coz of the horrible headache i've been having all day. but i know if i don't attempt to put it down now, i won't till tues or wed or later and the thought(s) would have gone stale by then and i'd probably not wanna do write about it by then.

ok so anyway, i've been thinking a lot about expectations. they're powerful, subtle, often unspoken, changing, and not always fair. i realized that left unchecked or unexamined, they can get you feeling really disgruntled or angry or disappointed or unsatisfied with things. it's scary how expectations are so easily formed and worse yet, how you often don't even know that they've formed and actually exist till they don't get fulfilled and you're left feeling foul or some variation of that.

so i decided to make it a conscious effort to check with myself when i get upset why i've gotten upset. and i realized it's coz things didn't go as i'd expected them to, or people didn't do or say things as i'd expected them to. but what i also realized was that they probably didn't even know what my expectations were or that i even had certain expectations of them. in fact, i didn't even quite know that myself. at least they weren't at the forefront of my conscious mind. but don't we still expect people to know these things since they're so obvious? what an interesting expectation there in itself! or assumption. but expectations are essentially assumptions if they're not communicated rite?

so essentially, i guess if i hold expectations without communicating them, it's not fair for those who i have expectations of. but it's so hard articulating them sometimes. so i guess i've chosen not to have them, or at least to stop having them if i become aware of them and i don't want to articulate them. it sure seems like an easier way out. i'm beginning to finally understand farand's wise words way back then when we were so much younger (hmmm he really must have been quite wise!) when he said "expectations screw things up coz you almost never live up to them and people bring such different expectations to the table. there's no such thing as bringing in no expecations."

perhaps naive or stubborn me just wants to carry on believing that i can not impose expecations. i mean if i don't have the guts to articulate them, i can't expect people to live up to them right?

but in general though, i think i'm quite easily pleased or suprised coz i usually just have very low or no or negative expectations of how the unexpected will turn out. so i usually walk away from something thinking "wow, that wasn't so bad after all" or "hey, that actually was pretty good." guess it's lots easier when the benchmark is set much lower.

i think that in so many circumstances, by default, i've always expected the worse that it's hard to be disappointed. yikes, doesn't that sound like a defense mechanism for you right there? but that's a different topic altogether.

oh, and i guess as obvious as this sounds, expectations are formed selectively. reciprocity isn't always expected in r/ships. for instance, with my cg, i really don't expect to receive what i give. (ok, at least not to me, but i do expect to give back to others and serve others.) perhaps that's why whenever they ask how i am or how they can pray for me or when my boys surprise me and actually live up to my often spoken expecations of them being gentlemanly, it always always gets to me and they have no idea how easily they make my day or make me smile and thank God for how wonderful they are. haha

so expectations are really strange. they're probably much more pervasive and powerful in your life than you know it. so go ahead, write down 3 expectations you have of the 5 closest people in your life. the chances are, you probably get peeved with them most easily too. and it might just be because they're not living up to your unspoken expectations. even more interestingly, go write down the top 3 expectations of yourself. maybe you feel crappy about yourself coz of your ridiculously high expectations of yourself.

right...so all this stuff has been swimming around in my head. wish my thoughtflow was tighter but at least i've gotten most of it out. and now, the bed is definitely beckoning.

"we associate certain people with certain topics," so says my wise friend.

funny how we got talking about work and then it went off tangent and we began talking about stuff we always talk about when we do catch up. i know specifically what my wise friend means every time, even if its a very general questions like "how're u?" or "so how are things?" and it's funny really. coz it kinda shows how easily conditioned or categorized we are as people. so when i mused how we inevitably get to certain topics, my wise friend concluded the above.

and when i stopped briefly to think about it, i realized that like with big ngoh and the brother, fishing's our lingo; with lily, it's our no.1 choice; with my girls, yup, there def are things we def get onto every time; with the chi girls, it's about who's up to what so that even if ur meeting just 1 member of chi, u find out about the other 6 and their other (ex/present/almost) half; with lav, it used to be about pilot and so on....so we all have code words or pet topics, or whatever it is u wanna call it, that we naturally go on. and this takes place if u meet up for 1/2 a min or 1/2 an hr or 1/2 a day. haha it's not some great new realization or anything..just that it struck me how quickly we associate people with things or topics or events. haha wonder what my wise friend and i will talk about when there's no more drama in our life. hahaha oh how dreadful if such a day comes! how's that for drama? haha

we try taking a photo, nat and i, and then the clowns at the back decide to be a part of it. shd have known with toille sniggering while taking the photo. tsk...at age 19 and as a relief teacher...some boys still haven't grown up. hahaha

so we turn around to shoo our extras away...and our camara boy takes a shot of that!

then finally, after like 3-4 tries, he manages to take a frontal shot of just us both...but cuts off nat's head in the process. haha i think our camara boy doesn't like us much, nat. the only instance he's failed me so far tho. hahaha his position still remains. grin.

oh man chinese new yr bores me to tears. the greatest realization that i have is that increasingly, i really don't enjoy making small talk.

oh, and i realized too that my parents' opinons of others is rather contagious. like the people they like and think fondly/highly of, i somehow do as well. and others who they are less fond of...i realize i kind of am too. scary huh? didn't realize they have influence over me in that way.

i also think that it's sad that what i looked most forward to about CNY this yr were going to church and wearing my new dress! haha not even the new year goodies or finding out "total earnings" for the day.

so other highlights of CNY? realizing my aunt and i both like the smell of haze and burning incense and jasmine flowers, whining to/with farand over msn and coming up with Project Christmas 2007 with him, playing german bridge with Shi Rui/Ping/Yun/Wei (after allll these years, i still can't remember who's who), talking with Aunty Meng and Judith about MG days, and clowning around with Justus who's way too articulate and politically correct for a 4 year old kid. oh, and i'm glad my family's non-traditional. mom made pizza for chu xi dinner and we had a bbq for everyone on my mom's side instead yday of going back to my grandma's place this yr. refreshing changes i felt! :) haha so it almost sounds like there were soo many things i've enjoyed these last 2 days...but trust me. they've been loooong days. and each of these were small snippets along the way that almost convinced me that it wasn't so bad afterall.

i'm not sure what CNY will be like when i have my own family next time. haha go over to kor's place? will he have his 3 girls? will i have my 2 boys? will he be playing his own album in the hall like he was today? ahahaa. more importantly, will he be married?? hahaha funny how people have given up asking him that this year...

hahah i just had to post this. this was taken ages ago when my cg came over for Christmas dinner and i wanted to give Cabbage Patch to Amber coz they look so much alike. so anyway, in the midst of preparing to give Cabbage Patch away, my boys had a good time....haha ok to give a more accurate account of things, they picked Cabbage Patch up by her hand/foot/head when i asked them to pass it to me or something and it was all wrong the way they held the baby doll. so i decided they should learn how to hold a baby properly. so here are my 2 gep-ers attempting to show their smarts. but obviously falling short. haha but it's ok lah...u guys are better at err...other things. haha like cracking me up.

and toille, rem how i was saying u look different in every picture? u look different now than frm just 2 mths ago!

oh boo. the holiday mood must have sunk in already. it's 3.40pm and i've done absolutely nothing.

but it's good nothing. nothing workwise, but lots of good family time. got to sleep in till 10am which was sheer bliss. then got up, had breakfast and talked with the family about the randomest of things...did qt and then it was lunch. and we spent another 2 hrs talking about more random stuff. then it was 2pm...and i don't know what i've done since. talk to kel and eleanor. ok and so to not feel so bad about my slackness and total unwillingness and lack of motivation to do work, i'm reading eeleen's thesis. haha ohhh i suck.

and then...right after i'm done saying that, i begin to mildly panic realizing that i only have two weeks to write my thesis draft after i'm done with mid-term tests. crap. then justin comes along and says he'll be praying and that he'll be there when i need him. and i'm not sure if he actually means it coz he's hardly sweet like that...but he seemed earnest enough. haha we'll see. thanks anyway, dude.

and i realize that i'd better be more with it and stay on the ball and keep pushing myself since i feel accountable to people with the way i spend my time, especially since mom and gideon are helping me with transcribing to free up my time. sigh okok work.

forgive my rambling. just thinking aloud as usual.

you're really beautiful, you know?

i love your honestly. i love how you can be so transparent and real.

i love how you ask questions and talk things out and make sense of them on your own.

i love how you ask me so earnestly and innocently about this and that.

i love how your emotions show through, for how your heart is always tender, for how you hurt when i hurt, or at least respond in ways that i can't or don't allow myself to.

i'm glad we met up tonight. and i'm glad you're my mentee. coz you sure remind me of so many precious lessons age or life or something or other have erased away.

and i liked going back in time tonight as well. grin. so now you know. haha i love you.

sometimes u read something and it stops u dead in ur tracks, especially when you just talked about it or thought about it or been doing both. and thoughts race thru ur mind and jump from one to another. then you stop yourself, shake your head, and tell yourself to stop it. happened once too many times today about completely different things. but it always helps to write it all out and make sense of it, especially for me it does. obviously not here...but in my notebook when its about work/thesis and in my journal when it's about life. haha my my, don't i sound melancholic.

but really, sometimes it gets me really upset and disgusted with the way things are. other times it makes me wonder. most times it lingers. but thankfully, almost every time it gets me running back to the One who has the answers, regardless what got me started in the first place.

i had a really really good time tonight. was looking forward to it coz i knew we'd have a blast, but i had no idea how good it'd be.

weather was perfect, food was good, there was strong breeze all night long, we managed to meet everyone tho pple came at different times, we plucked up enough courage to randomly sample all sorts of stuff for the heck of it, and we bascially had a great time! so many random signs like "please, no handwashing" and "cheesy family" and "long pant" and "1 for $5, 3 for $20" and people shouting and singing to get attention...it was all good stuff and there was soo much to see and laugh at and joke about. but i think what takes the cake for the night were these 2 stall vendors.

stall vendor 1: miss, u and me same
me: huh?
stall vendor 1: yeah, u and me same. (points to his shades on his head and then to mine)
me: haha ohhh (turns around and looks quizically at toille and cindy)
stall vendor 1: yeah, u know, today's valentines day. u and me same. you come here, come here. (motions for me to come over, opens a packet of jelly and gives it to me)
me: haha ohh...err. thanks. (hears toille and cindy laughing and sniggering behind me and we make a quick escape...only to run into stall vendor 2)

stall vendor 2: miss, we have mushrooms. come, try.
me: haha no thanks, mushrooms and jelly don't go good together.
stall vendor 2: WHY?
me: (shocked look then burst out laughing) no no, not that your mushrooms ain't good...it's just me. i don't usually eat them together (and we make an even faster escape but laughing as we go)

and then as our group grows and more people come, we walk up and down the lane a few times and each time i hide behind toille or shunz or in between the girls or something and successfully escape while my entire cg finds it extremely entertaining. but the 3rd time round, i didn't manage to hide, though i did try to dodge away and the mushroom guy (stall vendor 2) shouted "ay, 3rd time already!! why you hiding? i noticed!" and this time my cg errupts into laughter, esp toille whom i was hiding behind. haha thanks ah.

so finally when we were heading to the station, i made them take 2 backalleys so we wldn't have to pass mushroom man again. haha it was really good fun u guys. glad tai didn't get caught tho he had to climb over the gate, glad each of u made it, glad we had our cny "reunion-like dinner", and i'm just glad for each of u coz u guys are hilarious.

and here's us!


frm left to right: nat, cindy, eleanor, me (and job above me), toille, and shunz.

ok, so i have finally broken out of my shopping sabbatical. abstained for a month and finally succumbed yesterday. and since then...i've bought one too many things. but haha they were such good steals they were hard to resist! i can't decide what i like most since they all serve different functions. bought a pretty necklace which i got several complements on, except from my brother who said that it looked like i had ferrero rocher, fish eye balls and yong tau fu looking things strung together.

haha and then i cldn't resist a shirt which read "men are like chocolate, the richer the better" I looove shirts with hilarious captions. heh and at the bazar, i resisted buying one dress only to buy another at jurong east. but it's in perfect cny colours and a perfect fit! haha why am i even trying to justify myself? but all that stuff for under $40! haha at least i feel like i can be productive studying again.

i sometimes wonder if life kinda just happens to you.

been meeting quite a new people lately and when i think about it...i wonder whether they find me as different as i find them to be.

met this old lady when andrew, dhoby and i were on our way to dinner the other day and she was a real strong old lady. she was collecting cardboard boxes to sell and they were stacked so high that she couldn't quite see where she was going but she was bent on getting to her destination with all those boxes anyway. so andrew offered to help her. and we were amazed at how she worked so hard to make money and how others obviously noticed that and stall owners and all were extra generous in their dealings with her. she didn't seem to feel sorry for herself or call attention to her situation. she just went about doing what she did everyday. to me, her life seemed extra hard...but to her it just seemed..normal.

and i've been meeting various unwed mothers and i'm amazed at how life is for them. i'll never understand...but i'm surprised how easy it has been talking to them and how much they're willing to let me in and share their life with me so honestly and openly. i mean i've always known that all i thought was common and normal in my life isn't actually so...but seeing how someone 2 years younger than i am has 2 kids makes me realize how truly different people end up.

and at the end of the day, i see strengths and character and resilience i've never quite seen before. it's something borne out of the circumstances of life that most of the people i know don't go thru. it's something that is hard to explain, yet it's unmissable (if there's such a word).

so perhaps yeah, life may kinda just happen to people. but it's amazing seeing how they choose to respond. i'm glad that unlike the poor dog that i saw get run over a few times, life's hard knocks don't always have the final say.

haha this is too funny. i know i'm gonna get smacked for posting this but i can't not. so to protect the identities of all involved....i'm gonna use pseudonyms. heh

lily: yup, her bday is on the 13th, wed itself!
me: nono, wed is the 14th. can u make her card anyway? are u free to?
lily: sure. don't u have anything on on the 14th?
me: me? sure i do. chinatown with my cg. why? do u suddenly have smt on? grin.
lily: haha me? no, u don't even have to worry about that.
me: haha well if u wanna bring someone along suddenly, that's fine. wait no, i take that back coz my no. 1 choice is alr going.
lily: haha! yeah, he's still ur no 1 choice eh? yay! i'm spending valentines day with eunice! :D
me: hahaha yeah! but who knows? maybe many yrs down the road...u may spend it alone with my no 1 choice without eunice. ahahah
lily: haha oh man! i highly doubt so :)

hahahaha i'm gonna get killed. but it's not obvious lah right? it's pretty encrypted i think.

ok i think my body and will are rebelling coz i didn't get my sabbath rest this weekend due to err..unforeseen circumstances. heh i've been trying the past half an hr to read for tmr's class but i just can't seem to get down to it! i'm suffereing from a severe bout of nuah-ness i think. so i thought i might as well put down a few things yday that really got to me, in a good way.

for one, i realized anew how powerful music is. i thought i was the only one but when i turned ard, i saw nat and i knew i wasn't alone. so i went over to her and eleanor and gushed and squeeled and giggled and melted a little in good girly style. hahaha ok so some details must remain undisclosed but it was amazing i'm telling you. the effect some things create....haha sigh. i can't even put words to it. it's one of those moments u just let loose and be girly. haha

and of course toille and eric were amazing as mcs. they were so natural! haha and then watching about 10 people rubbing double-sided tape off the sides of the kindergarten tables when all was done and over was hilarious as well. it was such brainless yet concerted effort. toille, i want the picture u took of that pls! haha and i had fun with u and justin working at our table!

and i was glad for how everything worked out yday. seeing how in one year alone, people like sarah and nat and toille and shunz and everyone else in the comm stepped up and did such an amazing job was great. i think this yr's event went smoother than last yr's in fact! so congrats on the job well done u guys! u survived! haha which means u can do more since what doesn't kill u only makes u stronger. haha

oh, and i'm glad i got to let out all that pent up frustration of the afternoon b4 i got to church too. :)

haha ok so 2 hours till i've gotta go. i really ought to get some work done. bleeaah.

on a more random note...it's exactly been a month.

doesn't seem so long so i guess it's easier than i thought. but still, i suspect there must have been grace involved for oh how i struggled then.

haha but on some small level, i still pine.

i'm kinda lost for words as to how to put it down but i'm gonna try anyway coz i believe none of this is a coincidence.

so i've embarked on reading thru the Bible for this yr and i knew i'd get stuck mid-way thru Exodus and the rest when it gets to chapter after chapter about cubits and acadia wood and all. but i really believe that God doesn't put these facts and figures randomly and my mom always reminds me that God always speaks when we're ready and yearning to listen.

so today i trudged on and i read about the makings of the Tabernacle from Exodus 26. and the study bible i'm reading cross-referenced me to 2 Cor 3:14-15 and what i was reading suddenly made so much more sense! all the more so in light of tonight's CNY Home Blessing and tmr nite's V-day evangelistic event.

then i checked my email and Char sent a long, heart-felt email about the people she's really burdened for. and while i've remained nonchalent for the longest time, i realized i can't anymore.

at the end of the day, only God can remove the veil that still shrouds the heart. "and we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit" (2 Cor 3:18) just need to do what we've been called and commanded to.

and i've been personally encouraged to see how all i am to do is really to step out in obedience and tell of who He is...and He'll do the rest. God just used the most amazing of ways to show me that!

u see, apparently one of my frens waaay back in pri 5 got a Bible and he told me so i started quizzing him about what he read. and apparently, i asked him what was abraham's name before God changed it and who Sarah was and all that. and apparently i was the first person who asked him stuff from the Bible. all random facts, yes, and a whole lot of "apparentlys" coz i didn't remember all this till he told me. and so i lost contact with him after primary school. and last wk, we got back in touch with each other and to my surprise, he tells me that he's now actively serving in church and has a burden for youth too and apparently, he remembers all these things about me coz i was the first girl who talked to him about the Bible!! and i was shocked. coz i had no idea that one day, this boy would grow up to love God, serve God, and be so passionate about bringing others to Him. and for me, it really brought such fresh meaning to how God says His Word will not return void to Him. so u see, it's really not that difficult! it's not intimidating. i'm talking to myself a lot here actually. haha yeah...so i'm still being amazed by this boy's heart for God and the people he serves...this same boy who no longer goes by his chinese name but a cool Bible name now. haha

so yeah...called. commanded. all that's missing is obedience. and that can no longer be.

it's horrible how quickly i forget things. i'm not talking about the numerous occasions when i say something midway then forget what i was about to say or what my point was...or when i say something and am asked to repeat it and can't coz it's gone.

i'm talking about how God speaks clearly and reveals to me things He wants me to grow in and i soon forget. at the end of last yr/start of this yr, God showed me that prayer and evangelism are 2 areas He really wants me to grow in and so i committed myself to learning and doing more of both. things started out well with the week of 24/7 prayer but slowly waned. had jpm on fri and i prayed with my boys and was reminded of how good it is to pray with fellow believers, no matter what age or who they are!

then over the weekend, i heard Uncle Kenny and Dad preach and incidentally, the gist of what i took away from both sermons was the same - doing God's will and serving in areas as He calls. i was tempted to dismiss them as good sermons but with no direct relevance to me since i'm already serving but of course i've learnt that that's always the wrong response. so as i brought it b4 God, He immediately brought to mind my commitment to be praying and reaching out and how i've not been doing them.

i can't believe it's only the start of feb and i've forgotten!! so i'm posting this so that you guys can hold me accountable and remind me lest i forget again ok?

it's been a pretty crazy weekend and i don't know where the energy has been coming from since i've been sleeping insanely late or way too little and doing a million things the next day.

was up till almost 4am on fri night/sat morning working on my poverty paper and i knew that was a bad idea since my cg was arrowed to plan the first open sat event of the year the next day. but thankfully, toille offered to go buy the stuff so i got an hr more of sleep the next day :) i must say that for the scale of the event, the effort and planning was pretty minimal so i'm definitely glad for that. plus, we got to harbour all sorts of evil thots all week about who'd dance to chori chori, bye bye bye, i am 16 going on 17, and oh, how could i forget...rain! hahaa so we finally decided to rig it and decide which cg wld dance to which song since we all wanted to see specific people dance to specific songs...*snigger* but u guys were so great! i've not laughed so hard and so much in awhile. and those of u who thought the embarrassment ends there...haha well i'm afraid not! the video will be out soon....these are sooo gonna be lifelong/ministry memories i tell u. maybe instead of paying for the video, u can pay for the non-release of the video. hahaha

my cg, u guys did great! what wld i do without each of u? seriously! we'll do swensons soon k? as soon as we figure out when we can go tho that is! haha

and cg leaders, if ur reading this, thank u sooo much for lending ur support and putting up with my cg's endless requests and weird techy msgs to bring this and that and actually bringing it all so that everything cld run smoothly! it was a huge risk we took not having back up speakers or mp3 players and all so i definitely appreciate ur cooperation!

currently listening to: chori chori hum gori se!! (on repeat somemore! haha maybe that's where the energy to keep up and going comes from!)

you have no idea how good it feels to get calls saying "hey, i've got someone for you to interview!"

3 confirmed...(those of u who laughed when i said i'd doubled my number the last time, guess what? now i've tripled! haha) and a few more waiting to be confirmed. hoping and praying they agree! so with the new plan ngiam and i have for my thesis, finally things are falling into place! and i actually think i may exceed the number of interviewees i need now, since both aunty yee pin and ngiam emailed the head of kkh's msw dept a few hours apart! haha thank God for frens/sups in high places! haha

gee am i getting boring. all my posts have been about work lately, or the library, or some paper. bleeaaah.

anyway, so if u do know anyone who's an unwed mother or a premarital parent, please let me know! i'd love to get in touch with her/him. thanks!

haha so i really don't get it.

this Rain boy is sooo mega hot and his concerts are all sell-outs. but why??
i'm listening to his album and i'm laughing so hard its nuts. ok before i go on, i shd clarify that i borrowed it frm mils for tmr's open sat event coz we need to clip a minute of it.

anyway, so thot i'd listen to it first to find a suitable bit for the boys to to clip. but his first song has already got my doubled over. it's hilarious i'm telling you! i have not the slightest idea what he's singing/saying/rapping. come on and lide/side/light with me??? then i check the lyrics and it's "come on and RIDE with me." seriously, it's worse than "make a wish/fish!" i know i'm inviting a lot of flak here since there are prob a ton of Rain fans out there...but heh i need a boy who can speak proper english to use it in his songs to be won over man. maybe that's why i've never caught on to the whole chinese/korean thing. or wait...maybe coz i've never understood any it. as in the chinese and korean that's in it, not the english, tho that too. that would probably serve as a better explanation. heh

today's been one delightfully random day!

went to the gym and felt like running which i haven't done in a long time coz of some weird pain i've been feeling in my heel. so i got back on the treadmill today and just ran and ran. felt really good.

then i turned on my laptop to charge the bro's ipod and had this string of emails abt my poverty proj meeting...and had to keep negotiating for time changes coz of all tt's going on in church this wkend...and i began to compromise on my sabbath commitment without quite being aware of it and God reminded abt tt during qt today when i read Exodus 16 (think that was the first time the sabbath was mentioned?) and so i prayed and asked God to work smt else out since i cldn't meet my grp on fri nite...and He did! so tt was cool. (actually i nearly double booked myself for sun too but thankfully He worked tt out too!)

and then while checking my email, i got a msg on friendster frm a primary school friend! and he said he had been looking for me for a really long time and asked if i remembered him. coz apparently he said i was the girl who grilled him about what Abraham's name was before God changed his name and asked him all sorts of questions from the Bible after he proudly told me he had one. haha i totally forgot about that. never knew i was so weird! and so we get in touch and start chatting online and realize that after a decade of not seeing each other, he's come to Christ, gotten really involved in church, has his calling in youth min, and is leading cg! and he says he has always remembered me as the girl who'd ask him about the Bible and who told him my name's in the Bible. and guess what? he's no longer called wei jie...he's now gideon! hahaha i think it's hilarious.

and then of course, walk into dr ngiam's office again w/o appointment and find him busy but as he always, he says "no no don't worry, there's always time for you two (mils and i)" heh so discussed some new ideas and i've found a new way to shape my thesis that allows me to cut down on the number of interviewees i need so i'm realllly thankful for that!

oh and bumped into aunty yee pin in the lib before that and she asked how research was coming along and all and she offered to link me up with the MSW head of KKH. heh cool stuff.

and then had family dinner which we havent had in a looong while and heard the funniest things from my parents. most of it shdn't/can't be repeated here unfortunately. heh

sigh...so it's been a good day. spent most of the time running round in the lib...finding more journal articles, going thru theses, printing a ton of notes, bumping into pple....jan, amu, aunty yee pin, candice....i like randomness. like tellerman. haha ok work work. it's 10pm already?!?!?!