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Friday, May 04, 2007
thank you, my countless, wonderful friends who've been asking how i'm doing.honestly speaking though, it's been so so hard replying to your messages...i'd love to be able to say "oh, i'm much better! thanks for asking!!" ... but i can't....or maybe at that point of time i might be able to coz i had just puked or i had just sweated out my fever (yeah, after both those events u feel the best...i kid you not) but i'm so scared to even say that now....coz after i've said i'm ok, a few hours later, i'm shivering and chattering and horribly sick again...and the sick cycle carries on yet again for an agonizing few hours...and so i go from a few good moments when i can sit at my laptop and book the rest of my hostels and flights...and then i spend the next many moments curling up in bed...i don't even know what to tell Lav anymore!Babe, i'm so so sorry for all this....i know it sucks even more that you can't even blame me. haha i usually read those disclaimers that say "we will not be accountable for Acts of God" and laugh...but suddenly it doesn't seem quite so funny anymore when i read it in the conditions of our booking for our Athens Backpackers' accom....i don't know what else to say...i'm just so sorry. (crap it sooo sounds like we're in a r/ship. hahaha)so apparently now the doc says that no matter what, if i'm still running a temperature tmr morning, i'll have to do a 2nd dengue test coz 7 days is a sure indicator of it....but the amazing thing about this entire experience is knowing that God's sovereignly in control of this. gone were the days when i'd die of frustration not knowing what's going to happen. on the contrary, i actually know exactly what's going to happen...we're booked for everything....the only thing i don't know about is whether i'll actually get to fly off tmr....and yet there's a strange sense of peace and calm....coz i know that He'll work it out. If He wants me to go, i'll be well enough to go. if i'm not, i'll know too....don't get me wrong...it's not being fatalistic about things...it's simply knowing where you trust and faith are securely placed...i can be secure and content in the outcome of things beyond my control because i know Who's in control - One who only allows the best....so maybe i'll miraculously get well tmr...the 39degC fever i'm running will cool off, my cough will go....or maybe not....either way...i'm held. :) i may not understand.....but You're bigger than that. i don't need to understand everything. so will i fly tmr? i sure hope so...if i don't....i will soon i hope...at a hefty hefty cost. sigh. haha oh well.
and eunice ends here :
- 8:54 PM