declaration of dependence

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

i've made an interesting discovery about myself...one that i've been somewhat conscious yet unbelieving about coz it remains unproven...

I think i'm commmitment-phobic. and i discovered this in a rather strange kinda way.

ok so i went running with ade on sun evening and we chanced upon three rabbits in the middle of some field near Innova. so we all know eunice doesn't like kids and pets too much...she likes them for awhile to play with...but not to keep. but in the 10-15 mins ade and i played with the bunnies, i very rapidly fell in love with them. surprise surprise.

just as we were about to cart them home with us in the cage and we were talking about how much Asher would love to have them and how i actually contemplated bringing one home with me, this man came out from his worksite and said the rabbits were his! gee did our hearts sink...but it made me think about getting a rabbit or two of my own...for real.

so i told my animal-lover colleagues about it when i got to work yday and Yvonne said I really should consider getting them from SPCA. she then went on to tell me what having a rabbit involved and i must say....i chickened out. haha the commitment involved scared me...she said i had to feed it, clean its cage, play with it, make space for it, spend time with it, yadayada...she assured me that rabbits were quite easy to care for...which i somewhat agreed...easier than a cat or a dog i suppose...and more fulfilling to have than a fish or a frog...but after thinking about what was involved, i figured i just wasn't ready to make that many changes to accomodate something new in my life.

hahaha so here's where one can draw 2 lessons. one can externalise and tell others that they should learn from my lesson and not get a pet on impulse and later abandon it when the going gets tough and the reality of caring for a pet sets in. but one can also internalise the events that transpired and realise that she's really rather commitment-phobic. i know i can't handle the commitment so i bail before it becomes one i've gotta deal with. to which Yvonne said "but once you love it, you'll make time for it and do it"

but that's exactly it. i know that to be so, so true. once i allow myself to fall, i'm all in. so i usually bail before that even happens.

maybe that's why something a speaker said at a lecture series i attended last week struck me. though taken out of context somewhat, what he said about how relationships always involve some risk, really got me. coz it's true and i know it. i'm just not willing to take it unless i'm convinced it's worth it.

and often...i need to be convinced. that's the bottom line really.

i just need to be convinced. and it's not difficult. i know lav would agree with me. hahaha

and eunice ends here :

- 9:46 AM

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

gee it's been a mighty long time since i blogged! heh time to put some life back into this...work's been really crazy...haven't been able to find the time to sneak in here to drop in an exerpt or two about life...

haha but it's been such a wonderful weekend and there are so many pple i wanna thank that i've gotta get down to it and this is a good platform! staying back late at work anyway....might as well take a breather :)

anyway, i think this has been the most long-lasting string of birthday celebrations i've had in awhile...

let's see now...started on Friday at work...had a few celebrations at work with my colleagues and they were really brilliant surprises! Jared impressed me with his excellent taste in choosing a present! haha. Met Chindia for dinner after work at Clark Quay and it brought back such wonderful memories...felt like we were in Agra dining at the rooftop restaurant with fireworks in the background. didn't have fireworks this time but we had the river! haha which we made full use of..took a quaint little boat ride across it to the Esplanade and just sat there and talked the night away : )

chindia at maharajah : )

Oh, then my cg surprised me on Sat by giving me a mooncake as my bday cake and making me a "certificate of appreciation" that had absolutely hilarious things on it. You guys are the absolute best...haha thank you! means a lot :)

Then on Sunday, Ade did the sweetest thing - she baked me 2 huge strawberry tarts and pulled in a whole group of youth and my EE team after ojt...heh poor girl stayed up till 2am making the crust! it was fabulous! Thanks again dear... : )

Headed home for dinner with my family which was really a highlight coz my parents flew home the night before after being away for the longest time, just in time for my birthday :)

And last night was really great as well! Kel, Cor and I went to the Jewel Box at Mt Faber for dinner and it was sooo beautiful a view. Picked Dhoby up after tt for drinks and a little fun with sparklers at Sunset Taravan...we've got really nice pictures from last night...will post them soon..together with snaps from the rest...

and just when i thought that concluded things, my parents say i get another birthday treat on Sat! yay! haha and i finally get to meet Mich on Sunday : )

haha talk about being pampered....

so thanks, you guys! it's been really really special.

and eunice ends here :

- 7:44 PM